


I Can't Catch My Breath

by wordsxstars



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, I never get tired of angst try me, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, M/M, Nightmares, One Shot, POV Loki (Marvel), Strangefrost, The Author Regrets Nothing, Whump, absolutely nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-13 00:29:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20165164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordsxstars/pseuds/wordsxstars
Summary: It took the space of three seconds for him to realise what had happened.One.There was the softness of a bed underneath him.Two.There was a very familiar face above him, concern etched into every line of it. StephenThreeHe couldn't breathe.-In which Loki has a nightmare, and Stephen is there to pick up the pieces after he falls.





	I Can't Catch My Breath

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Redandblackassassin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redandblackassassin/gifts).

> The amazing @redandblackassassin asked me to write a strangefrost one shot where one of them has a nightmare and the other is there to help so here :)

Loki thought he knew fear. 

But the pure _terror_ he felt shoot through his veins as his fingers began to slip from the hammer was another feeling entirely.

Time slowed around him.

He saw his brother above, saw the desperation in his eyes, and for a split second, he hesitated. For all their fighting, they were brothers in the ways that counted. He could hold on, he could let Thor pull him up, let his brother _save _him. But then he saw his father, hand clenched around Thor's armour, his words ringing in his ears.

_No, Loki. _

The things he had done... they could not, and _would _not, be forgiven by Odin. 

And so he locked eyes with his brother for the last time, and let himself fall. 

For what seemed like eternity, there was nothing but an echoing silence in his head. It was almost peaceful, a detached acceptance that it was one thing he couldn't trick his way out of. He would not survive this fall.

The seconds that followed the quiet were made up entirely of flashing lights and _pain_. 

If he had air left in his lungs to make a sound he would have screamed, but the pain had stolen even that from him.

There was an unrelenting pressure on his chest, like every atom in his body was rebelling against him. When he'd looked at the sky from Asgard, it had been littered with stars and light. Even while standing on the bridge with the emptiness of space surrounding them, there had still been stars. 

Now, it was nothing but darkness. 

The dark was all encompassing, worming its way into his lungs, his heart, his mind. It surrounded him, wrapping him in a cruel mockery of an embrace.

Slowly, so so slowly, the pain began to fade. It left an aching emptiness in it's wake, and somehow that was worse. 

Time no longer existed around him. He wasn't sure whether alive could even be used to describe his state. He wasn't living, not as he had before. A better word would be that he was aware. That was what scared him more than anything else, a fear that pushed him over the edge of reason and into an all consuming _panic. _The panic tore at his chest, a monster inside of him. It dragged out the darkest parts of him, shoving them into the forefront of his mind. Not dead, not alive, but _aware. _

He _knew_ he was screaming, but there was no sound to be made, no air to use, no one to hear. 

He thought he could distantly hear someone shouting, or maybe that was his brain trying to create something to fill the silence when there was nothing.

_No one could hear him. _

_Alone. _

In the darkness, his father's voice floated into his mind. 

_No, Loki._

He shouldn't have let go, shouldn't have let himself fall. Odin would have never forgiven him, but _anything_ would be better than this darkness, this silence, the pressure and the panic and the desperate need to be _out. _

But if no one could hear, was he even making sound at all?

_Loki. _

His father's voice again, but it sounded warped, different, like it wasn't in his mind at all. God he would give anything to hear another voice again, even for a second. Anything but the silence, and the darkness-

"Loki."

Not his father's voice at all, but it wasn't Thor's either. It was... The name evaded him. For a second, the darkness faded, and he could feel a weight on his arm. Then it slammed back into place with a force that sent a new wave of terror shooting through him. 

_Please. _

The word appeared unbidden in his mind. But he couldn't shove it back in, despite the shame that accompanied it, no matter how hard he tried. 

_Someone. Anyone. _

_"_Loki!"

His eyes snapped open, green light flaring into the space around him, as if his magic no longer wished to be caged either. 

It took the space of three seconds for him to realise what had happened.

_One. _

There was the softness of a bed underneath him. 

_Two. _

There was a very familiar face above him, concern etched into every line of it. Stephen. 

_Three_

He couldn't _breathe_. 

He was off the bed in one fluid motion, falling to his knees on the hard wooden floorboards. The impact shuddered up his spine, but he barely felt a thing. Nausea roiled in his stomach, and his chest was heaving. _G__od,_ the panic was still there, raging through his body, stealing everything but the instinct to _run_. Dimly, he heard Stephen saying his name over and over again, and then there were hands on his shoulders, anchoring him to reality. 

"It was a dream, you're safe."

Memories, dreams, the lines were all blurred in his own head. 

The floor was hard beneath him, another anchor. The suffocating darkness was gone, disappearing like ash on the wind. The fear had not moved an inch.

"Stephen."

It was the only word he could manage, the only thing he could push past the panic that lined every inch of his body. 

"Right here." His voice was soft, and Loki became aware of familiar hands gripping his arms. He hung onto the feeling, dragging himself back. 

Real. Stephen was real, the dreams were not. 

_Breathe._

Slowly, the fear began to fade. 

"Shit." His voice was hoarse. 

The sorcerer let out a relieved laugh, grip on his arms loosening slightly. 

'Yes, I believe that sums it up."

Loki's eyes flitted up to meet his, and a second later, Stephen's arms are around him, tugging him into his chest. He's so beyond grateful that his boyfriend doesn't ask, doesn't push for details. He can explain later, but right now, he just needs to breathe. 

Once he felt his heart rate finally return to normal he slowly untangled himself from the other man's grip, leaning in to kiss him softly. 

"Thank you."

"What was that for?" Stephen's voice was no louder than a whisper, and he felt something that had been tight in his chest loosen

_For loving me, for saving me, for believing that I was worth saving, for not thinking I'm weak. _

But all he said was "For being here."

The Sorcerers eyes said it all though, and Loki knew he understood.

Tonight, that was enough.


End file.
